I was diagnosed with XXY at 17. I had spent years in Therapy between multiple Dr.’s not trusting anyone and grasping for a way out ANY way out.
While working at that Large Themepark I befriended a Chipmunk who had a ailing grandmother in New Jersey. Her house was becoming available and it would be a great place to live and work and strive to get to THE BIG WHITE WAY…Broadway.
I left the Magical kingdom, drove to the un most magical township and settled into Westfield New jersey. I loved that small city. I got a job at Lord and Taylors and Garden Botanika, I met friends just by rolling into eclectic antique shops. One of my dearest friends to this date “ChelleBelle” I met there. Kindred Spirits…. I lived in Westfield for a few years and then took a leap of faith and moved into the city. NYC I got a job waiting tables and Singing everyday on Broadway at the Famed “Ellen’s Stardust Diner” I was living the dream, Working late into the night, Getting up with friends and standing in line for hours on hours to sing 13 bars of my best song in the chance to be a star. I took odd acting jobs on Soap Operas and bit parts in TV shows. I was not focused on my XXY at all!
One Week, I had a pain in my scrotum area. A nodule…a hard peanut, I popped it and then got SICK. I checked into The Free ER in town I was told after the biopsy that my Testosterone levels were thru the roof. I explained I had 47XXY and the Dr said The tumor is Benign but that he knew nothing about genetics and or XXY but it seems as if All the testosterone is putting me at a bigger risk for worse maladies . If I can deal with a higher range of voice and less macho ism in my body then get off the testosterone..I’ll Live longer. So I Did…(This will be a big sticking point later in the blog, when we chat about the NIH)
I was living in the world of “If I don’t see it, its not really there!” We all have lived in that void before.
I have never really been a purveyor of Drugs or alcohol I’m not easily addicted to these things. This city however has an energy that embraces you…There are stressors that others do not feel…The demons are relentless in drawing you in and sedating you. The first time in 1998 It was all that and more, Stress, the need to fit in, the desire to prove to my high school class that I was going to be BIG and BRIGHT and BLINDING!! Not just a star but a Fucking Supernova! I dated a guy who had Cocaine everywhere, It became my diet, my salvation, my friend, my stylist , my therapist my Gym Partner…My mask to my XXY, I also Did Off Broadway and Theatre at the Horse Trade Theater with the Cast of Marc Morale’s Edge of Insanity 1 & 2 and Stories from the RED ROOM. I had a call back for a few traveling productions and even landed the chorus of my first Broadway Show , then it closed the nest week. To get away from the Cocaine and the hustle and bustle I took a Job in the summer of 2011 in MN teaching summer camp. I decided that summer I would try my luck in California and do TV and film. I also had gotten a job as a bar back at “The Bear and Bull” Bar Steps from the trade center. The day I got back from Camp, I took a red Eye flight on United out of Newark to Chicago and onto LA. the date was Sept. 11th 2001. for 3 days I couldn’t reach anyone
My first weekend in LA I was robbed of all my summer income. When I finally reached my parents, They told me they only knew of a family in California thru a friend that went to their church in Florida. So, I called them….I got on a bus for 3 hours from LA to El Monte and onto LaVerne. A woman on the phone said “A man in his 70s that looks like Dracula will pull up in a Blue and White Caddillac , Get in it he will bring you home,”
This Dark California Street corner in LaVerne California off of White and Fruit st. Became my salvation. That family , Took me in, Loved me for Me and Taught me about LIFE. They were my Waltons on Spencer Mountain. I learned about families from a different angle , perspective…Im still in their life today as they are in Mine.
In 2007 I left California to become a flight attendant, after being told I was too fat Southwest airlines told me to loose weight….I lost 90 ponds in 6 months while working for Sea World…I was walking 6 to 12 miles to burn calories and swimming just as much at work. I had a chance to re interview for the Flight team again, I went to Dallas , ran into old friends and then was told, “Its Not Enough!” They sent me home AGAIN.
I left and went to Atlanta and joined the Circus, Traveled around with the BIG APPLE CIRCUS as a Purchasing Agent and Crew member . This time in NYC was different, I thrived, I saw it for what it could be. and loved just being surrounded by art and magic and music. Then in 2010 , I moved back in with the Waltons in LA and lived in Cali for 5 more years giving Acting the Old College Try. In that time frame I Had my Own Comdey show at M.I.s Westside Comedy Theatre in Santa Monica for 1 year. Written and Produced by Samantha Murphey and the theater it was called “Dragged Thru The Alley” and showcased the talents of Zippy Kaufman, Morgan Christiansen, Joey Greer, Shaun Boylan, and James Heaney with Sometimes Dave Colan and Sean Casey. Our last show link below.
I was super proud of that show…..It was a dream to have an improv show that I created run that Long.
I also went on to get my Screen actors Guild Card for playing a Reporter in AFI’s “First in Flight”
And appeared in
The Mentalist (2)
Faking It (MTV)
CSI Las Vegas
CSI New York
Desperate Housewives (3)
The Opera Singer
The Middle (2)
The Vampire Diaries
As well as being a haunted tour guide and a singing elf on the Queen Mary
My life was going well I was trying to survive even thru the 3 worst years medically I was looking forward to the TRIP of a lifetime …3 Months in EUROPE!!! Thats latercoulI was facing