Picture of Juleigh Mayfield

Juleigh Mayfield

Reno Shows and Tears

It’s Day 1,34587649876?? Something of this lockdown and There is NOTHING on Tv.

I’ve already caught up on all my “Shows”. I’ve caught the “Tiger King” craze on Netflix and think Carole killed her husband. I was so Bored I thought about watching “Springer” and then I turned on HGTV.


Normally, I enjoy Home Reno Shows.

Today they made me , Cry. They reminded me that when I was growing up, I thought I’d be married by 35 and have a doting husband and we would be living a “White Picket Fence” American Dream

It’s all I’ve ever wanted.

A Guy to look at me the way the husbands do on these stupid shows. Be it a Gay or Straight guy. Today, I felt down and alone. Frustrated with Dating in this time, Everyone wanting a TS girl for “Everything but the kitchen sink”. I’m not even TS. People, especially NOT men even seem to comprehend what Intersex or XXY even is. With Covid19 and all this uncertainty in the world, Today -HGTV made me feel like I’m never going to have that. That I have a better chance of catching Coronavirus then having a Monogamous relationship and the irony of having Covid19 versus being Single is that in both cases I’ll Die Alone.

Tears. I’m almost 45 and more alone than ever. If Anything I want to go on a Reno show and be boarded up in a wall…

I feel about as loved as “Sloth” in Goonies,

So thank you , HGTV.


Share this post