I’m 44 Now.
44 years old , 44 years of Wisdoms and truths, lies and dreams, failures and successes, wearing my heart on my sleeve.
If it were the 1700’s I’d be dead maybe
I’ve felt dead over the years. These 44 years.
In an odd way it felt like a 1st Birthday since In July it will Mark one year of estrogen. My new body, my new face, my 1 ovary and Testicle being removed, my breast development, my softening of features all the things that come with taking the estrogen. Which I needed to do to survive. To live past 44 or 2
I’ve done a lot of soul searching this 1 year and this 43 year. I’ve had to unpack a lot of deep seated pain and acknowledgement on all sides of my existence. Relationships have been Tested and Destroyed. I do find I am so emotional these days I often Joke it’s the Estrogen.
Someone my Soul has known for centuries , cradled me in his arms and said ” your not always going to be able to blame the Estrogen! Jules.”
He’s so right. And here I write this thinking of him and crying , knowing Our time , this go around may be over. I’ll be ok it’s the Estrogen!
I received So many Accolades and well wishes on my Birthday 🎁
My Heart soared. I thank all of you for those!
I have No Idea what the future holds for any of us.
-Ride the waves. Stand up, find your balance and Ride the 🌊 Waves.
I’m 44 and this year will be better…